Eadon: Microsoft’s Marketers Ripped to the Tits

Microsoft’s mobile ginger stepchild – one of several as it happens – is the Windows RT mobile operating system. This is usually confused with desktop Windows and that discombobulation has contributed to its disastrous sales. Microsoft are rumoured to be sending it to Switzerland for some suicide tourism. This means that those rare suckers that bought a Windows Surface RT Tablet will be left out in the cold. Half of them didn’t realise that Windows RT doesn’t even run normal Windows programs. Yes, only Microsoft, bless their cotton socks, could screw up branding as shockingly as that, their marketers may be ripped to the tits; it’s not just TV celebs that may be fond of icing sugar.

Microsoft are flat lining in the mobile and consumer products space. Windows Phone and Surface platforms are flailing in its vain struggle against the popular iPhone and Android platforms and some niche competitors.

To follow on from last weeks horror tale about Nokia CEO, the Wormtongue-eque Stephen Elop. He’s the boss guy that gave Nokia a good asset-stripping shafting then flogged its battered remains for about £1.49 to his old employer, yes, Microsoft. Well, Ex-Nokia talent have regrouped and released the Jolla phone (the J is pronounced Y). This is based on a fine open source smart phone operating system that Elop strangely ditched. It will be interesting to track the progress of this new tech. I am hoping that this new dog and bone will be available in the UK ere long.

It has been revealed that the government will be blocking ever more so-called “extremist” and perfectly legal torrent websites. Creeping Nanny State censorship is understandable up to a point, but without democratic and accountable public debate we risk official censorship becoming as baneful as China’s at this rate. The law of unintended consequences means that this interference will drive more people to the Internet Underground, to the Dark Net.

People are also entering the Dark Net side of the Internet as a reaction to ubiquitous global snooping and tracking. Now there are talks under way to build Tor, which is a Dark Net encryption protocol and software, into the fabric of the Internet itself.

Other Geek News: Comet Ison survived its Icarus journey around the sun having lost a fair amount of weight. So now you know how to go about your new years diet. Don’t bother with Fat Watchers, simply book a flight into the Sun’s chromosphere and you’ll melt off those pounds in no time!

Google has patented its idea of automatically generating social network posts for you. How the frack business/software methods ideas can be rightly patented only the Gods and lobbyists know. Nevertheless, I reckon this could be a life saver. The quality of Facebook posts is bound to improve, with google-omatic auto-generated cat photo posts possibly being slightly more articulate than the human versions. Even better, I can leave the computer to “chat” to my FB relatives and I’m certain that computer-generated saccharine pleasantries will bring far more happiness to the recipients than my usual sarcastic posts. That is assuming anyone actually reads anything on Facebook any more: well anyone under forty five anyway.

What we are missing is an Internet that is a haven from Google, Facebook, Amazon and big biz. This is how the Internet used to be, in the 80’s and 90’s. The Internet was an intellectual paradise. Only the smart could apply. It was where the smart guys, the guys with the techie know how and desire to access the net, could discuss and create cool stuff. Perhaps the Dark Net is the modern equivalent of that.

Bitcoin reached the thousand bucks mark. In a story that must thrill those sad people suffering from Shaudenfraude, it turns out that four million quids worth of bitcoins lie buried under a gigantic landfill. A fellow threw away a hard drive with them on it. I think I can hear the faint sound of metal detectors buzzing.

More Geek Insanity Next week.

P.S. my invention, the Culica cube is on Amazon and buy one. It’s a game of pure genius. So buy one. Or several. Please. That’s “Culica“. More Culica plugs next week.

 

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