Delingpole on Friday: Go Tony Go!

When you visit Australia for the first time, two thoughts will immediately strike you. The first is what an incredibly wonderful place it is. And the second is how perilously close the natives are to fucking the whole thing up.

I suppose it’s what happens when you find yourself living in a paradise of near-endless summers, big skies, abundant space, surfable ocean waters teeming with delicious fish, rich grazing country for sheep and cattle, stupendous mineral reserves and perfect coffee. You start saying to yourself: “Now hang on a moment, mate. This just isn’t fair. Let’s even the score a bit, piss on our chips, so we can give all those unluckier countries out there a fair crack of the whip….”

So, you deal with the mineral wealth problem by introducing a mining tax, thus cleverly hamstringing one of your primary export industries, driving up the cost of energy and giving a leg up to your foreign competitors.

You deal with the abundant space problem by bringing in lots of green zoning restrictions while simultaneously ensuring that farmers in the interior can’t clear the scrub on their properties. That’s because – and amazingly it was conservative prime minister John Howard who was responsible for this – you’ve fallen for the great CO2 con and decided to declare Australia’s trees a “carbon sink.” Never mind that Australian farmers are now driven to the point of suicide because they can’t earn a living. Never mind that this is an assault on property rights, state confiscation indeed. Never mind that if you can’t clear the scrub round your home, it’s likely to be burned to the ground by the next wild fire. The point is you’re fulfilling your international obligations to the utterly pointless treaty you should never have signed in the first place because no one really believes that carbon bollocks anyway, Kyoto.

You deal with the ocean problem by making your miles of beaches and reefs as inaccessible as you possibly can to anyone who might enjoy them. Visit Western Australia – now virtually run by the brownshirts of the Environmental Protection Agency – and you’ll see what I mean. Just to run a fishing or a whale watching boat you need half a dozen licences. Attempts were even made to have the whole coast along the Ningaloo reef declared a World Heritage Site which would have put it under permanent “protection” of the the enviro fascists. No camping in your Kombi; no beach barbies. Is this really the kind of Australia Australians want to live in?

You deal with the coffee problem by ensuring that though the flat whites served in Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Perth wherever are better than any you will drink anywhere in the world (with the possible exception of New Zealand) they must be consumed in an atmosphere of such overweening right-on, metrosexual, gag-inducingly politically correct, Jon-Faine-endorsing, organically recycled, ecological rectitude that no sooner have you downed your coffee than you want to bring it up again.

You deal with your agricultural problem, much as you deal with your sea problem, by trying to shut down as much of it as possible. This you achieve via environmental schemes like Murray-Darling, which ensures that potentially rich farmland cannot be irrigated and therefore never developed to the advantage of the Australian economy. Similar rules apply to potential dam projects in the north of Western Australia: you can’t let them happen because if you do, city populations might grow, barren regions might become fruitful, the economy might boom – and then where would you be?

None of the above measures, of course, is anywhere near enough to counteract the paradisiacal wondrousness of the Lucky Country. That’s why – you could call it a suicidal manifestation of Tall Poppy Syndrome – the Australians have had to work so hard to go even further to ensure that their country is as crap as everyone else’s.

One way they’ve brilliantly achieved this is by effectively killing what might hithereto have been considered a sine qua non of liberal democacies: Free Speech. We saw this two years ago, for example, in the ruling against Australia’s best blogger and broadcaster Andrew Bolt. Bolt had written disparagingly of “political aborigines” – the kind of shysters who, though to all intents and purposes white, manage, by dint of having a tiny bit of aboriginal blood somewhere in their distant heritage, to exploit their “indigenous” status to intrigue themselves into lucrative positions only open to “indigenous” Australians.

The problem Bolt describes is a very real one. Indeed, if he was guilty of anything it was – as most Australians are on this issue– of being too tactful. Few Australians dare say this in public but it is a national joke the degree to which the Australian state (aka the taxpayer) bends over backwards to assuage the perpetually aggrieved, grasping sensibilities of the so-called Traditional Owners. (Who aren’t even the real Traditional Owners by the way. Archeological research suggests that actually that accolade falls to a different pre-aboriginal race).

But Bolt wasn’t even talking about the problem of a whole class of people kept imprisoned by well-meaning but counterproductive welfare; he wasn’t even mentioning the embarrassment almost every Australian community has of the bored, self-esteem-free Aboriginal families on the edge of town who have nothing to do except get drunk in front of their state-subsidised flat screen mega TVs. He was just talking about lefty activist bludgers who take the piss: and even then, according to one Justice Mordy Bromberg, interpreting the Racial Discrimination Act, even then he wasn’t allowed to say it.

And if we’re talking about the myriad ways Australia has chosen to cut off its nose to spite its face, we’ve barely even started yet.

We haven’t mentioned:

The Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC) – the state broadcaster so agonisingly, committedly, and relentlessly left-wing it makes the BBC look like Fox News.

Julia Gillard’s Carbon Tax – which costs every Australian over $1,000 every year and which may, if we’re really lucky, reduce the increase in global temperatures by 2050 by around 0.0007 degrees centrigrade!

The Australian Press Council and the Finkelstein Report –  which make the Leveson Inquiry look like it was produced by John Wilkes, and which are so in thrall to the values of the green-left that they even harass newspapers and broadcasters which dare to contradict the supposed AGW consensus.

The two Australian universities – Macquarie and James Cook – which persecuted two scientists, Bob Carter and Murry Salby for failing to toe the politically correct line on ‘global warming.’

The corrupt wind-farm-building programme – often arranged to the financial benefit of Labor-affiliated unions – which is ravaging the landscape and making wind turbine victims sick, all to no real purpose for Australia is, after all, an island of free  fuel (from shale gas to thorium) which is in no danger of running out of energy for many centuries, if not millennia.

The billions of dollars worth of desalination plants built in each state on the recommendation of A$ 180,000 a year Climate Commissioner Tim Flannery in order to address the water shortages Australia would inevitably experience thanks to man-made global warming. Floods ensued. The desalination plants have turned into a huge white elephant.

But now this weekend, Australia has the perfect opportunity to undo all this damage. Indeed, it has taken the first step already: Liberal leader Tony Abbott is now so certain to become Australia’s next prime minister in Saturday’s Federal Elections that the bookies paid out a week ago.

That, though, unfortunately, is the easy part. The much harder part will be to persuade Abbott that he now has the mandate to put Australia back where God really meant it to be when he made it the Lucky Country – metaphorically (if not literally) on top of the world.

Abbott is definitely more instinctively conservative than, say, David Cameron: that’s the good news. But the bad news is that he has been bludgeoned pretty hard over the last weeks and months by the predominately left-wing Australian media (the magnificent The Australian being the shining exception).

Even when you know that ABC and co are talking crap, as Abbott does (remember – that’s how he once described “global warming”), it will require a huge pair of balls (possibly a pair even bigger than a man can reasonably fit into a pair of Speedo budgie smugglers) and a will of iron to resist those siren voices that trouble all conservative incumbents: the voices that urge caution in doing anything too radical because conservatism, being essentially nasty and selfish, should never be deployed except in moderation.

These voices, it goes without saying, are dishonest, self-motivated (because of cause they belong to greens and lefties) and wrong. All right, we’ll chalk up Abbott’s promise to spend a week every year governing from a remote Aboriginal community down to a genuine concern for indigenous issues combined with charming,brand-detoxifying PR; and we’ll forgive – just about – Abbott’s painfully statist decision to extend parental leave to the fact that he’s a Catholic family man.

What those of us who love Australia, though, should all be hoping over four years is that Abbott governs like the Conservative he knows he is in his heart rather than the nervy coalition centrist he might have been fooled into being in his head.

That long list above gives you some idea of the radical work that needs to be done if years of Labor and Green maladministration are to be undone. (The Institute of Public Affairs has much excellent advice on this score)

If Abbott achieves this, then my goodness what an amazing place Australia could become. Even now, with all its faults, it’s pretty bloody marvellous. With a new broom, it could well become unbeatable. (Except maybe, during the occasional Ashes contest and rugby final)

Go Tony! Go!

21 comments on “Delingpole on Friday: Go Tony Go!

  1. Dyspeptic Curmudgeon
    September 6, 2013 at 6:19 pm #

    I think that Sean Gabb of the Libertarian Alliance in the UK
    as the right prescription for this situation. Ninety-nine percent of the perpetually aggrieved will scream if one-percent are treated as the situation actually requires. So the answer is to smashed as near to 100 percent as you can in one fell swoop.

    Introduce ONE act which: closes the ABC, closes the Human Rights Commission, closes the Climate Commission, repeals the Racial Discrimination Act (and awards Andrew Bolt his legal fees, ex gratia), repeals the useless carbon tax, repeals the carbon credit requirement, gives notice of withdrawal from Kyoto, provides for the repeal of large chunks of EPA regulation, especially those which preclude undergrowth pruning and clearing, close say 6 federal departments which impinge on state jurisdiction (there are at least 6!), ban the making of ANY grant or forgiveable loan from government funds to any corporate entity, quango, or NGO, and (not least), remove the ‘feed in tariff’ advantage given to so-called ‘renewable’ energy production.

    And this does not touch labour relations laws: Oz needs ‘right to work’ just like England, Canada and New Zealand do.

    Sean Gabb has given the matter some extensive thought and offers those thoughts in a free to download pdf here:

    It’s a *great* read.

    • Amazinghangover
      September 9, 2013 at 6:11 pm #

      I read some of this, as you suggested, and he is completely, utterly, barking mad.

      Far from extensive thought, he obviously gave it about 10 seconds very muddled thought after about 6 pints.

      Lightly brushing over how enough people would ever be stupid enough to vote for this rubbish, he proposes to make roughly 10 million workers (and their families) destitute within a month.

      But also keep the welfare state as it would look bad to abolish it right away.

      I should imagine the 10 million or so’s relatives and friends of the massed unemployed will be mightily pissed off.

      I wonder how Sean intends to handle them. I wonder.

      Also the destruction and shredding of all records, social structure, heritage etc. Now who does that remind you of?

      I presume any second term of his government would not be voluntary.

      I would say Dangerous Idiot, but In fact just a total, utter, monumental idiot.

      Luckily only about 4 people will take any notice.

      (only 2 left counting me and DC)

  2. Dyspeptic Curmudgeon
    September 6, 2013 at 6:39 pm #

    Start at ‘What is to be done’ on page 52 of the pdf

  3. marcf08
    September 6, 2013 at 8:45 pm #

    I visited Australia and New Zealand in 2007–before I was politically cognizant. Viewing some of your issues from 2013, it’s amazing to see some of the similarities between the United States and Australia. Keep blogging.

  4. George Moonbat
    September 6, 2013 at 9:13 pm #

    Grazing country for sheep? Sounds awful. All sheep should be eradicated as I said in my latest book. I had a bad experience with one once…

    • Julian Flood
      September 7, 2013 at 1:01 pm #

      Rejection always hurts.


  5. David Lindsay
    September 6, 2013 at 11:16 pm #

    I pity Tony Abbott his probable victory, because his apparently winning recipe has turned toxic this week.

    He had thought that he had united three of Australia’s once-warring tribes: the Anglophile Tories, the Catholic traditionalists, and the pro-American capitalists.

    One word, Tony.


  6. Eric Worrall
    September 7, 2013 at 3:50 am #

    The problem is, its a universal rule, most people only take an interest in politics when things go wrong.

    Show me a place where a major topic of conversation is politics, and I’ll show you a place where life is short and brutal – places like the Balkans, Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan.

    So Australian politicians are almost all cr@p. It takes a lot of things going wrong to put a bad spin on life in a country of sunshine and warmth and vast beaches and BBQs. People just don’t bother to investigate what politicians are really up to, until it starts hurting.

    Of course, when we do sit up and take notice, you get a slam dunk of an election – just like today.

    • Eric Worrall
      September 7, 2013 at 3:51 am #

      Most people don’t take an interest in politics until things go wrong (meant to say 🙂 )

    • jazz606
      September 7, 2013 at 10:48 am #

      “………..The problem is, its a universal rule, most people only take an interest in politics when things go wrong…..”

      That’s right. Leaving the politicians to play unsupervised only leads to trouble.

  7. gavinmaclure
    September 7, 2013 at 11:41 am #

    Superb as ever, James!

    • James Delingpole
      September 7, 2013 at 12:46 pm #


  8. Lord North
    September 7, 2013 at 4:09 pm #

    “And the second is how perilously close the natives are to”

    The natives you say?

    The natives would be the aboriginal peoples would they not?

    • NoFixedAddress
      September 8, 2013 at 4:00 am #

      The natives have come from many different lands….. we are called Australians.

  9. catweazle666
    September 7, 2013 at 10:56 pm #

    “Abbott is definitely more instinctively conservative than, say, David Cameron”

    Not difficult. Vladimir Illich Lenin was more more instinctively conservative than David Cameron. Probably more honest, too.

  10. Katie Baragwanath
    September 8, 2013 at 8:26 am #

    Er…who gets sick from wind turbines? Nobody. That’s who!

  11. Annie
    September 8, 2013 at 2:30 pm #

    Love your work, love your books! More power to your pen and may you recognized for your contribution to sanity.
    PS I hope you eventully achieve a decent earner.

  12. dennisambler
    September 9, 2013 at 2:27 pm #

    Having visited Australia last year, I love the country and the people, but I was amazed at the sheer volume of prohibition notices. You don’t just get one red circle with a line through, you get a whole sequence on one post, or on the bulkhead in a train, or any public place. A bit like Ken Livingston’s London Park notices but much much more. If you like owning a dog, forget about taking it for a walk in the country, even on a lead, domestic pets are not allowed in forests.

    A sign at Manly Beach, what a superb place, exhorts you to do your bit to prevent global warming. TV has the most dishonest government adverts against smoking I have ever seen, (don’t smoke, never have).

    Agenda 21 in full bloom. The sad thing is that the Aussies don’t seem to notice.


  1. Tony Abbott: mate, you've done it – don't blow it! – Telegraph Blogs - September 6, 2013

    […] That's the good news. (What? You weren't rooting that douchebag Rudd, surely?). The bad news is that that was the easy part. The hard part will be persuading Abbott to be as radical as he needs to be in order to get Australia… […]

  2. Australia awakens from the Labor/Green nightmare « Australian Climate Madness - September 8, 2013

    […] UPDATE: James Delingpole – Go, Tony, go! […]

  3. The View from the Far Abroad | - September 9, 2013

    […] When you visit Australia for the first time, two thoughts will immediately strike you. The first is what an incredibly wonderful place it is. And the second is how perilously close the natives are to fucking the whole thing up. Link.. […]

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