Delingpole on Friday: The only right answer is UKIP

Somewhere in a parallel universe things are going brilliantly for me and Britain right now. What’s happening is this: the Conservatives, led by my old Oxford puffing partner David “Dave” Cameron are slashing the debt like you would not believe.

First thing they did on gaining power was to cut spending in every government department by 20 per cent. This meant that there were no special favours, no horsetrading. It was also a signal of the seriousness and intent which Cameron had first promised in the bravura speech that had helped win the Conservatives the election.

“Do you realise how fucked we are?” he declared, in what commentators subsequently christened the Fucked Speech. “We are fucked beyond your wildest imaginings. Now you can either take my word for it and accept the strong and necessary medicine I propose over the next four years. Or you can vote Labour for more of the same of what got us into this mess. Your choice.”

And the electorate, because the Conservatives had been clear and honest about how fucked the economy was decided to go with him. What’s more, when he began – as promised – introducing this strong and necessary medicine, they took it because they could see it was being administered fairly across the board. Someone even coined a phrase for this: “We’re all in this together.” No one scoffed because it was true.

Actually it’s not quite accurate that all government departments were cut by 20 per cent. Some – such as the Department of Energy and Climate Change – were scrapped completely. So too, of course, were the majority of New Labour’s pointless quangos such as the Carbon Trust. “Hey, it’s like we’re having a bonfire of the quangos” someone quipped. And no one scoffed because it was true.

Meanwhile, in this parallel universe, my career is going from strength to strength too. I’m a regular at no 10 and Chequers and Dorneywood. I’m a trusted member of Dave’s inner circle. (Sometimes – it’s OK, now that the ban has been rescinded – we hunt together with the Heythrop) This is partly because we go way back, of course; but mainly it’s because we think as one politically.

In this glorious parallel universe – and God, don’t we all love living in it! – the Prime Minister understands as I do that government is not the solution to the problem because government IS the problem. He wants out of the EU because there’s no point being shackled to a corpse. He wants cheap, clean energy – shale not wind. He believes in honest money, not QE. He believes gay marriage is none of the government’s business. He wants to restore rigour and discipline to the education system, which is why he has got Michael Gove in charge and doing a brilliant job. He wants to reform welfare – and again Ian Duncan Smith is making great strides here: as big as Owen Paterson is making in his much needed reforms of DEFRA.

As editor of the vigorously free market and libertarian leaning website Conservative Home – and also editor of the comment pages of a reinvigorated Times, my job is to explain and applaud these measures. Which is a piece of piss, really, because everything this government does is so sensible and right. Occasionally, for comedy’s sake, I’ll employ a Tory wet or a closet Lib Dem – Tim Montgomerie, say, or Danny Finkelstein – to write me a piece on “Why the Conservative party needs to abandon more of its core principles in order to reach out to those voters who’ve always hated it and always will”. Mostly, though, I just give my crack team of columnists – Guido and Fraser Nelson and Douglas Murray and Allister Heath and Toby Young and that young whippersnapper Harry Cole and the rest – their head. I’m afraid I’m not one of those editors who believes one should run asinine bollocks just for the sake of it. I prefer columnists who write well and talk sense.

Obviously I’d like to go on with this fantasy but I can’t because some tosser has just pinched me and I’ve realised it was nothing more than a delicious dream. The real world I live in is not remotely like the one above. But it could be worse: UKIP could have come third instead of second in the Eastleigh by-election.

UKIP’s result gives me enormous hope for it makes me realise how very much not alone I am in my analysis of British politics. Cameron has had his chance – he’s had many, many chances, in fact, and he has gone and blown every one of them. So that’s plan A – a right wing coup within the Tory party – scuppered. Now it’s time for plan B.

I don’t wish in any way to demean UKIP by calling them Plan B. I’ve long admired their policies and I’m a huge fan of Nigel Farage who seems to me refreshingly free of the bullshit that envelops most politicians. The only reason Plan A was preferable is because, had it worked, it would have worked on a much shorter time scale – which meant that we could have been out of this mess much more quickly.

Clearly, that isn’t going to happen. I realised this over the weekend, at dinner with some influential Tory types. What astonished me was their mix of arrogance, defensiveness and epic complacency. In the bubble occupied by the Tory high command, it seems, it’s like the last three years just never happened.

The general attitude was: “Look, we didn’t win a majority at the last general election. If we had it would have been different. But we didn’t. So get over it. We’re in a Coalition with the Lib Dems now and that’s the deal.” And also: “So you want Ed Miliband to get in? Is that it? Because it will happen you know. If you don’t vote for us you get Labour, so you’d better jettison that fancy idealism of yours because it’s going to get you nowhere. Go on, who would you prefer: Cameron and Clegg or Miliband and Balls, eh? Eh? EH?”

Well when you put it like that, I’ll vote for neither of the above. The only right answer to the question is UKIP.

31 comments on “Delingpole on Friday: The only right answer is UKIP

  1. vervet
    March 1, 2013 at 4:11 pm #

    Please take me to that parallel universe …

  2. Brian the Rhetor
    March 1, 2013 at 4:19 pm #

    For a minute or two there I was mightily cheered.
    I have someone who uses those vote-for-us-or-get-them arguments. It seems to me that a negative vote is the ultimate wasted vote. Dishonest too.

  3. Simon Roberts
    March 1, 2013 at 4:51 pm #

    I actually joined UKIP today. I’ve never been a member of a political party before, but this can’t go on.

    £30 seems a small price to pay. If it makes a difference, fantastic. If it doesn’t, at least when the country finally just gives up I won’t think “if only I had…”. I know it’s not a lot in the big scheme of things, but hey! it’s more than I’ve ever done before.

    If a lazy git like me can be motivated to join, maybe other people can too.

    • John Wilkinson
      March 2, 2013 at 1:36 pm #

      Welcome to UKIP Simon – in my humble opinion the only party that gives us hope.

  4. Kevin T
    March 1, 2013 at 5:08 pm #

    “Vote for us or you’ll get the other lot” is the last resort of a bankrupt government. It has worked twice in the past two decades (1992, 2005), both of those times the subsequent governments were unmitigated train wrecks and I would like to believe the electorate has learned from it.

    I hate everything Miliband stands for but here’s 4 reasons why I think a Labour or LibLab administration under him and Ed Balls would be preferable to re-electing Cameron:

    1) The number one reason: the Tories would have to regroup, rethink their policies, get rid of the two giant balls and chains leading the party and put in someone half decent. Ideally Boris. Hopefully UKIP would do well enough in 2015 for some sort of alliance to be agreed. At least then we would have something to hope for.

    2) Ed Balls is not my favourite politician but he is not reputed to be stupid. Post-Brown, he knows any Labour government’s achilles heel will be prolific spending. I don’t expect them to do much about it but I doubt a Labour government would run up the debt significantly more than the Tories would.

    3) Labour would cut VAT. One more sensible conservative policy than the Tories have.

    4) Labour would likely reverse some of the clumsier cuts the Tories have made, like to front line police and military numbers. (There have been books written about the amount of waste in the public sector but what do they cut? Army regiments and police response numbers. As the excellent police blogger Inspector Gadget points out, there’s been no reduction in the number of expensive German cars in the police senior management parking spaces.)

    5) You could once again get angry about lefties bringing in stupid lefty policies instead of the Tories doing it.

    Oh and…

    6) Ed Miliband as Prime Minister. That would have to be good for a few laughs.

    • Kevin T
      March 1, 2013 at 5:18 pm #

      Or even 6 reasons.I learned maths from Gordon Brown.

    • Chris
      March 1, 2013 at 8:11 pm #

      Boris Johnson would be a disaster.

      1. He’s a liar; this is why he got sacked from his shadow ministerial job under Michael Howard.
      2. He’s unprofessional. He was famous for being unprepared and winging it as an MP.
      3. He’s a serial philanderer.
      4. He’s allegedly sired a child with another woman while married.
      5. He supports an amnesty for illegals.
      6. He wants Turkey to join the EU.
      7. £35million bribe Boris has ordered to be paid to transport workers in London to ensure the city keeps moving during the Olympics.

      If you think Dave is bad, wait until Boris has a go.

    • Simon Roberts
      March 1, 2013 at 11:00 pm #

      Balls scares me. I once listened to a Today interview with him and he told lie after lie for ten minutes. Blatant ones too, not the sort that politicians usually tell in the hope that no-one checks the facts.
      I got the impression of a nut case who actually believed what he was saying.

    • Jon
      March 8, 2013 at 12:23 pm #

      Dead right. And not only is Labour already sounding better and more Tory on Defence and Policing, Yvette Cooper just gave a speech about cutting benefits to immigrants that no Cameroon would ever dare say…

  5. David Rose
    March 1, 2013 at 6:10 pm #

    One interesting question is: what would a Labour energy policy look like? As Kevin T says, Balls is not in fact stupid. He therefore should know that continuing to throw money into the blackout vortex of “renewable” energy is very stupid indeed, and that the only way to restart growth is to frack for all we are worth and build gas power stations. Of course the party is backing the mad Yeo amendment to the Energy Bill, with its 2030 carbon target. But in power, that might be forgotten. Well, one can only hope.

  6. D.
    March 1, 2013 at 6:20 pm #

    Mr Delingpole, would you please wait a while, until we move house (I’ll let you know where), before standing as a UKIP candidate? I’d rather like it if you were our MP and I’ll happily be one of your constituency office staff. CV on request…

  7. Chris
    March 1, 2013 at 8:12 pm #

    James, if only this was not a dream. Why did the Tory Party vote for PR man when they had David Davis?

  8. Toby Manning
    March 1, 2013 at 10:44 pm #


  9. jazz606
    March 2, 2013 at 8:52 am #

    Has anyone noticed the new wishy washy light. Tory blue ?
    Very apt, but the Tories are totally fucked, they’ve gone past the critical point and are hated as much by their own ‘supporters’ by the lefties.

  10. hereticisright
    March 2, 2013 at 9:19 am #

    I was so enjoying the other universe James. I wish you’d gone on for much longer. Punish the pincher please!

    I often wonder: why is it so difficult to find a decent party leader and PM? There seem to be more examples of outright bad ones than there have been decent ones. As people they may seem decent, but the essence for them is to be in power. Once they become party leaders, they start preparing for the job as PM. At that stage they become vulnerable to career people, the advisers, who want to be close to the PM, or rather any PM. Advisers are not scrutinised well enough, or at all, and can suffer all kinds of moral deficiencies or be advocates of just about any sick idea.

    The latest Chief Scientific Advisers to the UK Government John Beddington and David King could both have been recruited from any of the eco-loon clubs. Whoever recruits these people, and I guess it’s the PM, is destined to have a really stinking environment policy with main focus on combatting the non-existent problem called climate change. It’s sad that it happens and I’d be interested to know why.

    • jdseanjd
      March 3, 2013 at 11:05 am #

      I’ll venture an answer to that question.

      I have beside me a battered paperback edition of ‘A Blueprint for Survival’, the Penguin Special edition 1972.

      It was first published as Vol 2, No.1 of The Ecologist magazine 1972.

      The burden of this 139 page booklet is that we are all doomed as Western society is breaking down through lawlessness, overpopulation & exponential growth in the use of finite resources such as oil & arable land.

  11. kevinsmith2013
    March 2, 2013 at 12:37 pm #

    James, you are most definitely not alone in thinking the way you do, and our numbers are growing daily. We just have to hope its not too late to turn things round, at times it certainly feels that way.

  12. Deb Daniels
    March 2, 2013 at 7:37 pm #

    The government is right to make the cuts
    Your piece in the Spectator this week admonishes the government for not explaing the reason
    Perhaps I can help
    Throw the bloated on to the streets
    When they eventually get lean and hungry they will realise they have to fend for themselves
    Once they get over the shock they will fend for themselves
    Then we will all be off again on a new enlightenment, and a new industrial revolution, and a new age
    One or two will not survive and as they die in the street crying “but I thought the state was meant to look after me from cradle to grave” someone will walk past and say “you didn’t really believe that did you? That was only a joke to get you to vote for them”

  13. Sean
    March 2, 2013 at 8:52 pm #

    Because its a fix . DC is the bankers man in power ? Why is this not openly stated ?

  14. jdseanjd
    March 3, 2013 at 11:23 am #

    This book paid great tribute to a book called ‘The Limits to Growth by Dennis Meadows et al, 1972, which was heavily based on, surprise, surprise, computer modelling. I believe ‘The Limits to growth’ has since been discredited, but I’m not sure of that.

    ‘A Blueprint for survival’ led to heavy endorsement by the Club of Rome, a group of ‘scientists and industrialists from many countries which is trying to persuade govts, industrial leaders and trade unions throughout the world to face these facts and take appropriate action while there is yet time’

  15. humprey M
    March 3, 2013 at 11:27 am #

    Surely you want a Labour victory – nay landslide – in 2015. The collapse will come all the faster, exposing the insanity of the left wing numbers for once and for all. Only after the pound is trashed to 0.50/$ and people CANNOT travel due to fuel shortages will a true ‘conservative’ PM have a chance.

  16. jdseanjd
    March 3, 2013 at 11:47 am #

    ‘A Blueprint..’ was endorsed by 34 scientists & academics, most with several degrees, a body of much greater weight than the BBC’s panel of 28 ‘scientists & experts’ at the heart of the 28gate scandal. for that list.

    The Ecologist magazine was produced by Edward Goldsmith & others.

    I first read ‘A Blueprint as a 19 year old Architecture student in 1972, & have never been able to forget the dramatic opening sentence: “The principal defect of the industrial way of life with its ethos of expansion is that it is not sustainable.”

  17. jdseanjd
    March 3, 2013 at 11:57 am #

    Basically, these chaps were doom mongers, promising ‘famines, epidemics,social crises and wars’ unless the Western World was de-industrialised.

    They were not of the same mindset as the Rational Optimist, Matt Ridley, who believes that Peak Land has been reached, IE no more land now need to be cultivated to feed a world population of 7 billion.

  18. jdseanjd
    March 3, 2013 at 12:19 pm # for Matt’s excellent blog.

    David Cameron should be in the Green Party, which was born of the environmentalist movement.

    He thinks he’s on a crusade to save the planet, & this country comes strictly third.

    • johnpd
      March 6, 2013 at 8:04 am #

      To understand how deeply entrenched the socialist mindset has become, in our schools, universities & govt bureaucracies, both local & central, google the Frankfurt school.

      To understand a major force in American & thus world politics, google agenda 21 for dummies.

      For the best explanation of how UN Agenda 21 is working in practice:

      By John Anthony, it’s well worth the 1hr 23mins.

      Alabama banned UN Agenda 21 in June 2012, 20 yrs after George Bush Snr signed it in 1992 at the Rio Earth Summit, hailing it a “New World Order”, & other states, cities & counties are following suit: agenda-21-“sustainable-development”

      James Delingpole gets an honourable mention.

      The fightback has begun.

      • Michael Roberts
        March 7, 2013 at 5:11 pm #

        “This (YouTube) video is unavailable”

        Well, fancy that.

      • jdseanjd
        March 8, 2013 at 3:58 pm #

        I have today come across a shocking claim:
        “Global warming is for Genocide”

        It’s not the headline that’s shocking, I knew that Global Warming was a rip off designed to help pay for UN Agenda 21, one of which’s principal targets is a ~85% cull of the World population, it’s the revelation that one of Prince Phillip’s wishes is to be reincarnated as a virus to wipe out as many people as possible.

        Another shock was to learn that PP helped found the WWF with Sir Julian Huxley, who is portrayed as a keen eugenicist.

        Sir Julian Huxley is one of the 34 “scientists & experts” who endorsed “A Blueprint for Survival”.

  19. Nige Cook
    March 3, 2013 at 8:56 pm # The UK national debt was only $0.53 trillion in 2008, soaring to $0.76 trillion in 2010 and is now $1.16 trillion. The debt escalator is permanent because no party – let alone coalition – can possibly can’t cut the annual deficit enough to stop the debt rising: we’re still borrowing to make up for the gap between tax revenue and government spending. The small deficit cuts so far, which don’t cut the debt, which continues to get ever bigger, were so trivial we lost AAA credit rating. Even if the Cons completely wiped out the deficit, the debt won’t get smaller. The task of trying to reduce the debt (i.e. getting into NEGATIVE annual deficit, or surplus) would shut down the NHS, social security, and our payments for membership of the EUSSR. That’s not going to happen. No politician – not even Nigel Farage of UKIP – can hope to reduce the actual debt. We’d have a repeat of October 1917, but in London not Moscow. If everybody does vote for UKIP, expect ugly scenes in Parliament, martial law to overcome riots, maybe civil war again. Last time it was relatively civilized and over Parliamentary authority (Cromwell vs. King) but next time it will be more violent.

  20. T Hubbard
    March 4, 2013 at 1:35 pm #

    Luckily the Party is beginning to realise what a clunker Dave is. That means he’ll be out soon. Another Labour term doesn’t mean much, in fact it could be pretty good for the Tories to be out between 2015 and 2019.

  21. Noa
    March 6, 2013 at 1:00 pm #

    “…The real world I live in is not remotely like the one above…”

    Ah well, back to the wet dream

  22. Redneck
    March 9, 2013 at 8:35 pm #

    Mr Delingpole

    Excellent, thank you.

    You’re not alone but this is the crux for me, how many of us are there?

    We keep hearing this bleat above the need to keep the “moderate vote”: as you succinctly put it, “Why the Conservative party needs to abandon more of its core principles in order to reach out to those voters who’ve always hated it and always will”.

    I’m not sure anyone knows how many think along the same lines as you’ve suggested but I have to hope enough to allow a sensible small Government to prevail. Otherwise we’re goosed.

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